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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others.
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Tags : Confucius Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Family Quotes
- O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
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Tags : Saint Augustine Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I think war is a dangerous place.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes
- How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- It is perfectly monstrous,' he said, at last, 'the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes
- She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.
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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig. I might as well get a piano and start an Elton John tribute act!
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Tags : Alan Carr Quotes , Funny Quotes , Gay Quotes
- The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Food Quotes
- By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Appreciation Quotes
- Young men want to be faithful, and are not. Old men want to be faithless, and cannot.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- To buy books would be a good thing if we could also buy the time to read them; but the purchase of books is often mistaken for the assimilation and mastering of their contents.
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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes
- A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- It's much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth.
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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- "The twins no longer derive their sustenance from Nature's founts - in short," said Mr. Micawber, in one of his bursts of confidence, "they are weaned..."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes