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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Communication Quotes
- Americans spend 6 billion hours a year filling out their tax reforms.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Biography lends to death a new terror.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes
- What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes
- When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary.
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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes
- ...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiration Quotes
- What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the true one?.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Law Quotes
- Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
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Tags : Al Gore Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- His wardrobe was extensive-very extensive-not strictly classical perhaps, not quite new, nor did it contain any one garment made precisely after the fashion of any age or time, but everything was more or less spangled; and what can be prettier than spangles!
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fashion Quotes
- We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The impulse to travel is one of the hopeful symptoms of life.
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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange!
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions; he had money as well.
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Tags : Margaret Thatcher Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes