Barack Obama Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately he's called me a socialist for wanting to roll-back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so we can finally give tax relief to the middle class. I don't know what's next. By the end of the week he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

5 years ago

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

No, my friend, I am not drunk. I have just been to the dentist, and need not return for another six months! Is it not the most beautiful thought? --Poirot

5 years ago

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Tags : Agatha Christie Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.

5 years ago

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Tags : Robert Louis Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you.

5 years ago

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Sanity is very rare; every man almost and every woman has a dash of madness.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

He was by no means opposed to hard labour on principle, for he would work away at a cricket-match by the day together, - running, and catching, and batting, and bowling, and revelling in toil which would exhaust a galley-slave.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I quite agree with Dr. Nordau's assertion that all men of genius are insane, but Dr. Nordau forgets that all sane people are idiots.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Be excellent and party on dudes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes

A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes

I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes