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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.
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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes
- The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Change Quotes
- No man knows he is young while he is young.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes
- I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes
- I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.
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Tags : Adlai E. Stevenson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friends Quotes
- If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
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Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.
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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes
- An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Advice is like snow - the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper in sinks into the mind.
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Tags : Samuel Taylor Coleridge Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- You can always rely on America to do the right thing -- once it has exhausted the alternatives.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Cat Quotes
- Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes