Albert Einstein Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Fifteen referees. I want fifteen referees to be at this fight because there ain't no one man who can keep up with the pace I'm gonna set except me. There's not a man alive who can whup me. I'm too fast. I'm too smart. I'm too pretty. I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked.

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Tags : Muhammad Ali Quotes , Funny Quotes , Smart Quotes

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

This may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about.. when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Spiritual Quotes

The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.

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Tags : Arthur Schopenhauer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Writing Quotes

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Clever Quotes

I have always been of the opinion that hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing whatever to do.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Business Quotes

God created sex. Priests created marriage.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

A good scare is worth more than good advice.

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Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Advice Quotes

I have imbibed such a love for money that I keep some sequins in a drawer to count, and cry over them once a week.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

Money is like love; it kills slowly and painfully the one who withholds it, and enlivens the other who turns it on his fellow man.

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Tags : Khalil Gibran Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

I have always been of opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes

Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes