Adam Carolla Quotes, Nice Quotes, Dirty Quotes

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nice Quotes , Dirty Quotes

I'm a comedian, not a politician.

5 years ago

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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Blue Quotes , Guy Quotes

The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reading Quotes , Book Quotes

I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Laughing Quotes

I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.

5 years ago

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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera - sort of low-key. I don't like being on camera stuff that much. I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader. Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cat Quotes , People Quotes

I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Strong Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.

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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Should Have Quotes

Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , School Quotes , College Quotes

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

My first car was a motorcycle.

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It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?

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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.

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That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

5 years ago

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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

5 years ago

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Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I've worked with women, I've never had an issue with women.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Daughter Quotes , Mother Quotes