Adam Carolla Quotes, Reading Quotes, Book Quotes

The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.

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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

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I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Men Quotes

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

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He doesn't sound like a guy who's done a onesome, let alone a threesome.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Successful Quotes

If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Butterfly Quotes , Beer Quotes

I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Night Quotes

People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Dream Quotes , People Quotes

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

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I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Years Quotes , Age Quotes

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Horrible Jobs Quotes

Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Basketball Quotes

I get depressed at airports.

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I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.

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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Gay Quotes , Looks Quotes

Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn't break it down piece by piece, stage by stage. The best gift you can give yourself is some drive--that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates. The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Believe Quotes

We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it. Telling them to stop isn't going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sex Quotes , Thinking Quotes