Adam Ferrara Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sex Quotes

Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent, he was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication. He was a ragged, roving, roaring kind of fellow, with a burly form, a sharp wit, and a ready head, and could turn his hand to anything when he chose to do it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

Absence - that common cure of love.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

"She's a very charming and delightful creature," quoth Mr. Robert Sawyer, in reply; "and has only one fault that I know of, Ben. It happens, unfortunately, that that single blemish is a want of taste. She don't like me."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sympathy Quotes

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Successful Quotes

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

He is like a female llama surprised in her bath.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wisdom Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Military Quotes

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

They misunderestimated me.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

A burglar who respects his art always takes his time before taking anything else.

5 years ago

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Tags : O. Henry Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, "What will you have, sir?" And I said, "A glass of hemlock."

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Happy Birthday Quotes