Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

"Next," said Mrs Wilfer with a wave of her gloves, expressive of abdication under protest from the culinary throne, "I would recommend examination of the bacon in the saucepan on the fire, and also of the potatoes by the application of a fork. Preparation of the greens will further become necessary if you persist in this unseemly demeanour."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Father Quotes

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes

He who desires nothing, hopes for nothing, and is afraid of nothing, cannot be an artist.

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

5 years ago

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Tags : Jack London Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Were kisses all the joys in bed, One woman would another wed.

5 years ago

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mom Quotes

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Laughter Quotes

By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us.

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Tree Quotes

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

5 years ago

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Tags : F. Scott Fitzgerald Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

What I tell you three times is true.

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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

"Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women's husbands.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

When the ax came into the forest the trees said the handle is one of us.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Tree Quotes

The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Neuharth Quotes , Funny Quotes , Attitude Quotes

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes