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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend or by fiend, by prayer or by wine.
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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes
- The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
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Tags : Al McGuire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Trust Quotes
- Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old.
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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes
- If I am occasionally a little over-dressed, I make up for it by being always immensely over-educated.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Littles Quotes
- The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- What is a husband? He is the one who, with a touch, can bring back the starlight and glow of years long ago. At least he hopes he can - don't disappoint him.
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Tags : Alan Beck Quotes , Funny Quotes , Husband Quotes
- How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes
- A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes
- I think war is a dangerous place.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes
- He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one's eyes, and does not look at him.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- "Why, I don't exactly know about perjury, my dear sir," replied the little gentleman. "Harsh word, my dear sir, very harsh word indeed. It's a legal fiction, my dear sir, nothing more."
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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But... it is better to be good than to be ugly.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes
- The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.
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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The empty vessel makes the loudest sound.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.
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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- On an occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one's mind. It becomes a pleasure.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mind Quotes