Horace Quotes, Funny Quotes, Advice Quotes

A good scare is worth more than good advice.

5 years ago

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Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Advice Quotes

He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

The equation for ego is: One over Knowledge.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Monsieur l'abbé, I detest what you write, but I would give my life to make it possible for you to continue to write.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

For the journalist, anything probable is gospel truth.

5 years ago

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Journalism Quotes

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

5 years ago

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Tags : Carl Sagan Quotes , Funny Quotes , Brother Quotes

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

5 years ago

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Faith Quotes

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

Your next-door neighbor is not a man; he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the noise of a piano; he is a dispute about a party wall; he is drains that are worse than yours, or roses that are better than yours.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abraham Lincoln Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

The superfluous, a very necessary thing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes