Barack Obama Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately he's called me a socialist for wanting to roll-back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so we can finally give tax relief to the middle class. I don't know what's next. By the end of the week he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

5 years ago

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

5 years ago

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Tags : Theodore Roosevelt Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

He was by no means opposed to hard labour on principle, for he would work away at a cricket-match by the day together, - running, and catching, and batting, and bowling, and revelling in toil which would exhaust a galley-slave.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abigail Van Buren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes

Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.

5 years ago

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Mistake Quotes

For your popular rumour, unlike the rolling stone of the proverb, is one which gathers a deal of moss in its wanderings up and down.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

We are living in 1937, and our universities, I suggest, are not half-way out of the fifteenth century. We have made hardly any changes in our conception of university organization, education, graduation, for a century - for several centuries.

5 years ago

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Tags : H. G. Wells Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The impulse to travel is one of the hopeful symptoms of life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Agnes Repplier Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Peace Quotes

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fathers Day Quotes

If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Graduation Quotes

If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hope Quotes