Winston Churchill Quotes, Funny Quotes, Health Quotes

Eating words has never given me indigestion.

5 years ago

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Health Quotes

Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Music Quotes

It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Women Quotes

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The empty vessel makes the loudest sound.

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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the true one?.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A book is made from a tree. It is an assemblage of flat, flexible parts (still called "leaves") imprinted with dark pigmented squiggles. One glance at it and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, the author is speaking, clearly and silently, inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time ― proof that humans can work magic.

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Tags : Carl Sagan Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

He appeared to enjoy beyond everything the sound of his own voice. I couldn't wonder at that, for it was mellow and full and gave great importance to every word he uttered. He listened to himself with obvious satisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his own music with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Real Quotes

My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Jesus Quotes

"Write that down," the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.

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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes

As I approve of a youth that has something of the old man in him, so I am no less pleased with an old man that has something of the youth. He that follows this rule may be old in body, but can never be so in mind.

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Tags : Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes