Khalil Gibran Quotes, Love Quotes, Funny Quotes

Money is like love; it kills slowly and painfully the one who withholds it, and enlivens the other who turns it on his fellow man.

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Tags : Khalil Gibran Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fathers Day Quotes

"Next," said Mrs Wilfer with a wave of her gloves, expressive of abdication under protest from the culinary throne, "I would recommend examination of the bacon in the saucepan on the fire, and also of the potatoes by the application of a fork. Preparation of the greens will further become necessary if you persist in this unseemly demeanour."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

There is more to be said for stupidity than people imagine. Personally I have a great admiration for stupidity. It is a sort of fellow-feeling, I suppose.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , People Quotes

He who desires nothing, hopes for nothing, and is afraid of nothing, cannot be an artist.

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Work Quotes

There is no such passion in human nature, as the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A minister of state is excusable for the harm he does when the helm of government has forced his hand in a storm; but in the calm he is guilty of all the good he does not do.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Only the shallow know themselves.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, "What will you have, sir?" And I said, "A glass of hemlock."

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Books are totally useless unless you take their advice. If you just keep reading them, thinking "that's so insightful! that changes everything," but never actually doing anything different, then pretty quickly the feeling will wear off and you'll start searching for another book to fill the void.

6 years ago

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Tags : Aaron Swartz Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Horse Quotes

He said he didn't very well understand how George was going to sleep any more than he did now, seeing that there were only twenty-four hours in each day.

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father s. He's more particular. The father is always a Republican towards his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?

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Tags : Jane Austen Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes