Ernest Hemingway Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

I drink to make other people more interesting.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Positive Quotes

All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Compassion Quotes

I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

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Tags : Theodore Roosevelt Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I don't think the discus will ever attract any interest until they let us start throwing them at one another.

6 years ago

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Tags : Al Oerter Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes

Three minutes thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

6 years ago

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Tags : A. E. Housman Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

When they took a young man into Tellson's London house, they hid him somewhere till he was old. They kept him in a dark place, like a cheese, until he had the full Tellson flavour and blue-mould upon him. Then only was he permitted to be seen, spectacularly poring over large books, and casting his breeches and gaiters into the general weight of the establishment.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Book Quotes

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes

Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Smith Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.

5 years ago

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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Believe Quotes

It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes