Albert Einstein Quotes, Funny Quotes, Stupid Quotes

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Uncles Quotes

The equation for ego is: One over Knowledge.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : A. Whitney Brown Quotes , Funny Quotes , Laughter Quotes

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Crush Quotes

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sports Quotes

Don't argue about the difficulties. The difficulties will argue for themselves.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Dombey and Son had often dealt in hides, but never in hearts. They left that fancy ware to boys and girls, and boarding-schools and books. Mr. Dombey would have reasoned: That a matrimonial alliance with himself must, in the nature of things, be gratifying and honourable to any woman of common sense. That the hope of giving birth to a new partner in such a house, could not fail to awaken a glorious and stirring ambition in the breast of the least ambitious of her sex.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Girl Quotes

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Stupid Quotes

In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Integrity Quotes

Some medical beast had revived tar-water in those days as a fine medicine, and Mrs. Joe always kept a supply of it in the cupboard; having a belief in its virtues correspondent to its nastiness. At the best of times, so much of this elixir was administered to me as a choice restorative, that I was conscious of going about, smelling like a new fence.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the street.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Virginia Woolf Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Compassion Quotes

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

We were together. I forget the rest.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Walt Whitman Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes