Winston Churchill Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend or by fiend, by prayer or by wine.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary.

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Tags : Honore De Balzac Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dog Quotes

True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.

6 years ago

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Tags : Abigail Van Buren Quotes , Funny Quotes , Education Quotes

In the fight between you and the world, back the world.

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Tags : Franz Kafka Quotes , Funny Quotes , Fighting Quotes

Whatever advice you give, be short.

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Tags : Horace Quotes , Funny Quotes , Giving Quotes

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

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Tags : F. Scott Fitzgerald Quotes , Funny Quotes , New Year Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Integrity Quotes

I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

... I had a latent impression that there was something decidedly fine in Mr. Wopsle's elocution - not for old associations' sake, I am afraid, but because it was very slow, very dreary, very up-hill and down-hill, and very unlike any way in which any man in any natural circumstances of life or death ever expressed himself about anything.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

He who desires nothing, hopes for nothing, and is afraid of nothing, cannot be an artist.

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Tags : Anton Chekhov Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

"Write that down," the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.

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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It is perfectly monstrous,' he said, at last, 'the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes