George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Funny Quotes, Half Quotes

If you injure your neighbour, better not do it by halves.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Half Quotes

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.

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Tags : Dalai Lama Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Anniversary Quotes

Absence - that common cure of love.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

It's much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oprah Winfrey Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

He was by no means opposed to hard labour on principle, for he would work away at a cricket-match by the day together, - running, and catching, and batting, and bowling, and revelling in toil which would exhaust a galley-slave.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

"Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , America Quotes

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sloth Quotes