Adam Ferrara Quotes, Funny Quotes, Lying Quotes

Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes

Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes

I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.

5 years ago

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

5 years ago

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

5 years ago

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

5 years ago

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Tags : Rudyard Kipling Quotes , Funny Quotes , Marriage Quotes

Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Positive Quotes

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lewis Carroll Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

It's your money. You paid for it.

5 years ago

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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I love acting. It is so much more real than life.

5 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

" ... It is not my desire to wound the feelings of any person with whom I am connected in family bonds. I may be a hypocrite," said Mr. Pecksniff, cuttingly, "but I am not a brute."

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

5 years ago

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Tags : Theodore Roosevelt Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Then, at the end of every hand, Miss Bolo would inquire with a dismal countenance and reproachful sigh, why Mr. Pickwick had not returned that diamond, or led the club, or roughed the spade, or finessed the heart, or led through the honour, or brought out the ace, or played up to the king, or some such thing; and in reply to all these grave charges, Mr. Pickwick would be wholly unable to plead any justification whatever, having by this time forgotten all about the game.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Religious Quotes

Every rascal is not a thief, but every thief is a rascal.

5 years ago

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Tags : Aristotle Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes