Hector Hugh Munro Quotes, Funny Quotes, Children Quotes

Confront a child, a puppy, and a kitten with a sudden danger; the child will turn instinctively for assistance, the puppy will grovel in abject submission, the kitten will brace its tiny body for a frantic resistance.

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Tags : Hector Hugh Munro Quotes , Funny Quotes , Children Quotes

Hatred is blind, as well as love.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Friendship Quotes

The sea is the same as it has been since before men ever went on it in boats.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Absence - that common cure of love.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death.

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Tags : Ernest Hemingway Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beautiful Quotes

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.

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Tags : A. P. Herbert Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

"She's a very charming and delightful creature," quoth Mr. Robert Sawyer, in reply; "and has only one fault that I know of, Ben. It happens, unfortunately, that that single blemish is a want of taste. She don't like me."

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'

6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sex Quotes

There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Funny Quotes , Men Quotes

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.

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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

God gives us our relatives – thank God we can choose our friends.

6 years ago

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Tags : Addison Mizner Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes