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Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes 957
- The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.
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Tags : George Bernard Shaw Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lying Quotes
- Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes
- We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- I hate women because they always know where things are.
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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Knowledge is invariably a matter of degree: you cannot put your finger upon even the simplest datum and say this we know.
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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- Riches are for spending.
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Tags : Francis Bacon Quotes , Funny Quotes , Money Quotes
- The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases; one of its diseases is called man.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes
- They misunderestimated me.
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Tags : George W. Bush Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes
- But the peasants - how do the peasants die?
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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes
- Were kisses all the joys in bed, One woman would another wed.
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Tags : William Shakespeare Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes
- Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.
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Tags : Alfred Lord Tennyson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Age Quotes
- Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Moving Quotes
- In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.
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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes
- Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes
- I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.
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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you.
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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes
- The only way to be sure of catching a train is to miss the one before it.
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Tags : Gilbert K. Chesterton Quotes , Funny Quotes , Travel Quotes
- In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes