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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- DUEL, n. A formal ceremony preliminary to reconciliation of two enemies. Great skill is necessary to its satisfactory observance; if awkwardly performed . . . deplorable consequences sometimes ensue. A long time ago a man lost his life.
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- Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
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- PIGMY, n. One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travelers in many parts of the world, but by modern in Central Africa only. The Pigmies are so called to distinguish them from the bulkier Caucasians - who are Hogmies.
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- MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.
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- PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called trousers by the enlightened and pants by the unworthy.
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- Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.
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- FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs
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- LEGACY, n. A gift from one who is legging it out of this vale of tears.
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- Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
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- Book - Learning : The dunce's derisive term for all knowledge that transcends his own impertinent ignorance.
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- Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.
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- The covers of this book are too far apart.
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- SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.
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- INGRATE, n. One who receives a benefit from another, or is otherwise an object of charity.
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- Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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- PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
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- Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
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- In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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- Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.
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- A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.
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