Barack Obama Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sarcastic Quotes

You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig.

4 years ago

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Tags : Barack Obama Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

However, it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Everyone who has ever built anywhere a "new heaven" first found the power thereto in his own hell.

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Tags : Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes , Funny Quotes , Government Quotes

One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.

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Tags : Alan Shearer Quotes , Funny Quotes , Soccer Quotes

An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

My best training came from my father.

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Tags : Woodrow Wilson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

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Tags : T. S. Eliot Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it.

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Tags : Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Baby Quotes

It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But... it is better to be good than to be ugly.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Beauty Quotes

All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Morning Quotes

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true.

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Tags : Winston Churchill Quotes , Funny Quotes , True Friend Quotes

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Growing Up Quotes

I shall write a book some day about the appropriateness of names. Geoffrey Chaucer has a ribald ring, as is proper and correct, and Alexander Pope was inevitably Alexander Pope. Colley Cibber was a silly little man without much elegance and Shelley was very Percy and very Bysshe.

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Tags : James Joyce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Genius is born-not paid

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes