Charles Dickens Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous Quotes

A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself up, in order that she might preserve that appearance of being taken by surprise which is so essential to the polite reception of visitors, awaited their coming with a smiling countenance.

4 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Absence - that common cure of love.

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.

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Tags : Robert Frost Quotes , Love Quotes , Funny Quotes

My best training came from my father.

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Tags : Woodrow Wilson Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

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It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

5 years ago

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Tags : Aeschylus Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old.

4 years ago

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Tags : Victor Hugo Quotes , Funny Quotes , Birthday Quotes

I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

4 years ago

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Tags : Oscar Wilde Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I hate women because they always know where things are.

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

But the peasants - how do the peasants die?

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Tags : Leo Tolstoy Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

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Tags : John Donne Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

... As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.

4 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes